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How I Became A Professional Baseball Heckler

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I once was a hapless baseball heckler. But I had no idea exactly how bad I was until the summer of 1996. It was then, while taking in a Jays game with a few friends, we pitched a particularly bad line towards the Twins bullpen. Looking down on Greg Hansell, the line was “Hey Hansell, where’s Grettel?”. Twins catcher Matt Walbeck turned around and said, ‘You’re the worst hecklers I’ve ever heard in my life,’. It was then I realized the need to improve my powers of harassment.

I went to bookstores, the library, and anywhere else I could think of. Remember, this was 1996, and I didn’t have an internet connection… yet. As soon as I did, I posted the simple question in a few newsgroups – “What is the funniest thing you’ve heard yelled at a ballgame?” Soon there were dozens of suggestions, then it was hundreds. Now I’ve collected about 2500 of the best. Some the zingers?

How about…

* How’s your Japanese?
* I’ve seen better arms on a snake!
* You couldn’t save anything at WalMart!
* You’ve got less hits than an Amish website!
* Take off your coat, you’re inside!
* You couldn’t throw a party!
* You couldn’t pitch a tent!
* I thought only horses slept standing up!
* How can you eat with those hands?
* I’m gonna break your cane and shoot your dog!
* You’ve had fewer hits than Vanilla Ice!
* Hey, Dracula, wake up your bat!
* Do you want my autograph?
* Come on Cinderella, get to the ball!

Or a bit edgier (But still family friendly)…

* You couldn’t throw rice at a Chinese wedding!
* There is more heat in an Amish home!
* I’ve seen better hit and runs in the ghetto!
* You’re about as washed up as the Gulf Coast!

And some very original ones…

* This infields got more holes in it than OJ’s alibi!
* I’ve got internet stocks in better shape than you!
* I’ve seen better sliders at White Castle!
* There’s more holes in his glove than a Florida presidential ballot!
* I’ve gotten better calls from my ex-wife!
* Nice uniform, where’s the Star Trek convention?
* This must be the Top 40 Countdown, the hits just keep on rolling!
* I’ve seen a better move by U-Haul!
* This pitcher is pac-man…walka, walka, walka, walka!
* You couldn’t save a Word file!!
* I haven’t seen a slide like that since Enron!
* The graphics on your personal website suck!
* Did you buy that swing from GNC?
* Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq as well?

Anything personal, racial, or obscene has no place at the ballpark. Neither does physical contact like pouring beer on people or throwing coins – both way over the line. You stay safely away from the line with lines that are topical, witty, and original. For example in Dodger Stadium shortly after the brawl in stands a few years ago, which was started when someone snatched the cap of Chad Krueter’s head — a fan behind the Dodger dugout yelled at Chad : “Hey Kreuter, I just bought your cap on eBay!” Which was a fantastic line meeting those 3 criteria.

Tips In Creating Wedding Video

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Wedding video is among serious business with responsibility that need care, and creativeness of mind. Wedding ceremonies are once-in-a-lifetime moments; obviously everybody wants to get it done perfect. They’ll search for the very best videographer to capture the very best moment.

If you’re newbie within this job, here are the seven tips to create good wedding ceremonies video.

1. Plan your video shots with the bride, includes theme of wedding and occasions program information so that you can be aware of ceremony flow.

2. Attend a rehearsal which means you know all the account ceremony, much like your position once the couple states “I do- or position shots once the groom kisses the bride to be, and so forth.

3. The groom and also the bride would be the star. Spotlight them, which mean you must concentrate for you to get as numerous shots of these. Surely you don’t disregard the others within the wedding.

4. Capture the priceless moments. You will find many beautiful moments like mother from the bride will get teary eyed when saw her daughter constitutes a speech, friends of bride expression once they hug the bride to be.

5. Get many candid shots. Using the candid shots, you may make the wedding ceremonies video more special. Catch as soon as when little flower girl execute a cute dance or even the bridesmaids laughing.

6. Take facade but still existence shots, it prevents the shot won’t be boring. You are able to take shots from the venues reception, the dessert, the wedding favors, the wedding decoration, and also the chapel facade.

7. Check everything carefully. Don’t forget this is a lifetime moment, no room to make mistakes. You can’t tell bride, “Sorry, the battery went” or “I’m sorry my video cam is not working-

Whether you’re looking for full coverage of the ceremony & reception, wedding day highlights, or a Love Story, eMotion Media Hawaii got you covered.

Different Color Navratri Saris Are A Great Fun To Wear

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Navratri is one of the most important festivals of India. Goddess Durga is worshipped during this festival. It is celebrated twice in a year first in April and second in October or November. It held great importance. This festival is full of dance, puja, music and enjoyment; therefore people eagerly wait for it. One more thing that has much importance is clothing. Women plays major part as there are special different nine color sarees made for them known as navratri dresses. Women adorn them with beautiful saris.

Navratri as name suggests is festival that lasts for nine days. And for these nine days different color sarees are suggested and women wear them accordingly. Like holi navratri is also festival of colors. Women in different color saris enhance show of this festival all the way more. They are particularly called navratri saris. Seeing all women in same color saris reminds us of our tradition and also entails that we are still cling to our custom. Hence navratri sarees make this festival more evident. Not only decoration is important but clothing also to instill true feeling of festival.

It is a great fun to see number of women in same color saris. All look the same. It is great to follow tradition properly and dress up accordingly. Navratri sarees are portrayal of the bond and the love that still persists between people. There is a great variety of navratri sarees. Just wearing same color sari is required not same style, design and pattern. Women are free to wear any style sari that suit them and enhance their appearance.

It is believed that goddess Durga has nine forms and nine color sarees represent them. Though it is mostly a tradition of Gujarat and Maharashtra but it has greatly spread all over India. Now during navratri all over India women wear different color saris on each of the nine days. Those nine colors are fixed but their sequence keeps changing every year. Colors are Parrot Green, Orange, Yellow, Sky Blue, Pink, Grey, Green, Ink Blue, Royal Blue and Red. Red color sari is worn on the last navratra that is Dussehra. Find out what is the order of colors for sarees this year and start doing preparation as navratri is about to come. These colors show the true spirit of devotees. It shows in true sense they are celebrating navratri and has great admiration for this festival.

Dandiya raas is another highlight of this festival. Some wait for navratris for it only. It takes place in the evening after finishing with all the daily chores. Sweets are prepared; dressing is its another important aspect. Lehenga choli is most worn attire during dandiya raas as it is comfortable and elegant in looking. Men and women dance with sticks. There is a special way of dancing and those who know enjoy to the fullest.

Navratri saris also give you chance to showcase fashion by experimenting with different style blouses, decorative accessories and jewelry. Enjoy all nine days of navratri with exclusive navratri saris.

How To Plan A Post Wedding Reception

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Many modern brides and grooms are starting to realize that the traditional wedding program no longer works for them. This is prompting many to experiment with other options.

Post wedding reception is the one even that has started to experience quite a surge in popularity in recent times, this is because it allows the people who didn’t get a chance to attend the wedding ceremony for whatever reason an opportunity to celebrate with the newly weds afterwards.

Why plan a post wedding reception?

Post wedding reception usually take place a week or a month after the main event, and after the honeymoon is done. An increasing number of couples are choosing Post Wedding Reception because:

* They eloped and had no one present at their ceremony.

* They had a private ceremony due to religious reasons

* They had a destination wedding and couldn’t bring everyone along.

* They preferred to keep their wedding a private and intimate affair

Other also decide to have a post wedding reception because they have families spread across the country i.e. bride and groom from different states could could hold their wedding ceremony and reception in the grooms state and leave for their honeymoon, and when they return, they could plan a second reception in the brides home state for folks who weren’t able to travel with them to the ceremony.

Invitation for a post wedding reception

Wording is everything in post wedding reception, your guests will have to understand that the invitation is to a party, open house or brunch after the marriage has taken place and not for the ceremony itself. The wording of your post wedding reception must make this very clear so as to avoid hurting any feelings.

You should also inform the guests of what to wear since they won’t be attending a ceremony. Let them know if they can bring gifts along and any additional information should be carried in a disclaimer at the end of the invitation.

Here is sample wording for receptions and open house after the honeymoon

Based on motivation behind the brides and grooms choice of a post wedding reception, a number of options are necessary for the wording of the invitations.

For those that eloped

* We just could not wait,

* Kindly join us for an open house

* Lets all share the happy date!

For private wedding

* Peter and Mary

* We’re now husband and wife

* On June 13, 2015

Etiquette for Post Reception Wedding

Parties and open houses following a wedding are usually informal as opposed to traditional wedding reception. They can be held in the afternoon and may also include a brunch. Of-course this rules aren’t carved on stone and you can doing in any manner that pleases you both.

The rise in destination wedding is making post wedding reception very popular and the same for brides and grooms residing in separate states. Reasons for wanting a post wedding reception are many and finding the proper wording for invitations is critical to the success of the event.

Having A Classy Las Vegas Wedding

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Las Vegas is known for its speedy weddings, and many consider getting married in Las Vegas tacky. However, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that the wedding capital of the world is changing to include more elegance.

Brides can still get married in Las Vegas for $50 at a speedy drive-thru chapel, but many brides are choosing to make their Las Vegas wedding more elegant, planning 9 months to a year in advance and choosing medium to extravagant ballrooms to host their event.

Casinos have always had the capacity to host large extravagant weddings in their ballrooms, but until recently, they used those ballrooms for corporate events. Casino owners didn’t think twice about using the ballrooms for a Las Vegas wedding reception or Las Vegas wedding chapel.

Now, elegant Las Vegas wedding chapels are the most competitive Las Vegas wedding business out there. All the major casinos and even small hotels have a chapel and / or ballroom in their Las Vegas venue, and they all advertise heavily online for brides to choose their Las Vegas wedding chapel.

According to “TradeBit,” the average wedding cost in Las Vegas is $24,860. This is quite a bit different considering Las Vegas was known for its $50 dollar Elvis weddings at the Little White Wedding Chapel.

Las Vegas is often the middle state of couples getting married from opposite ends of the United States. Long term relationships where the bride lives in California and the groom lives in New York, many times end up married in Las Vegas with family present.

Couples getting married in Las Vegas soak up everything they can get their hands on with a Las Vegas theme for their Las Vegas wedding. Las Vegas wedding favors with a Las Vegas theme include poker chips with a bride and grooms name on it. Las Vegas wedding invitations now feature photos of the venue that the bride and groom are getting married in, as well as Las Vegas wedding invitations that feature photos of the Las Vegas city lights from the strip and the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign. Even toasting glasses and guest books are being engraved with the phrase “Las Vegas” or “Viva Las Vegas” instead of the couples names.

Couples are now planning to elope instead of spontaneously getting married in Vegas. Because of this those couples order their announcements weeks in advance so when they get back from their Las Vegas wedding they can immediately send out their Las Vegas wedding announcements.

While celebrities like Brittany Spears and others have eloped to Las Vegas and were married in a small Las Vegas wedding chapel, other celebrities are choosing to get married in Las Vegas at extravagant hotels, and they are still calling it “eloping.”

Whether a bride gets married in a small Las Vegas wedding chapel or a large Las Vegas wedding ballroom, whether they plan their Las Vegas wedding for one year or five minutes, every couple married in Las Vegas can say that they have eloped to Las Vegas.

Thus, what happens in Vegas … stays in our hearts.